Love means intense and excessive affection. Islam’s approach to the feeling of love for the opposite gender is to keep this feeling in balance and to be aware that it is Allah who gives this feeling to the person.
The religion of Islam does not see the feeling of love for people wrong. As a matter of fact, this situation is expressed in the Qur’an as follows: ” And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.”[1]
Considering that existence and non-existence are tests for human beings in Islam,[2] even falling in love with someone turns into a test. This feeling should be experienced as Allah allows and the time He permits. Falling in love is not wrong according to Islam, but it is the behavior of a person in love while experiencing this feeling is considered right or wrong according to Islam. The extent that Islam allows to experience this feeling; is to reach the psychological, biological, and economic maturity that can carry out a marriage. If a person falls in love before reaching this maturity, that person should avoid forbidden behaviors and deviate this feeling. A person should not be alone and in sensual contact with the person he/she fell in love with.[3] and should refrain from breaking the other person’s heart.[4] The Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) warns that excessive love can cause blindness and deafness and calls people to love their loved ones in moderation.[5]
People often begin to feel this emotion when they see beauty, goodness, or perfection in the other person. According to Islam, these features that a person finds in the other reflect the features possessed by Allah. So, the person should remember Allah with these characteristics he/she sees in the other person and realize that Allah is the one who is worthy of being loved. Otherwise, the person who embodies these features puts the person whom he/she love at the center of his life:”Still there are some who take others as Allah’s equal—they love them as they should love Allah—but the ˹true˺ believers love Allah even more.”[6]
Finally, because of this feeling, the prayer of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) should be reminded: ” O Changer of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion.” [7] This prayer indicates that there is a connection between hearts and Allah. Undoubtedly, the change in hearts depends on a delicate balance between the will of a person and the will of Allah. In addition, a person who is in a struggle not to engage in haram and dies, is considered a martyr according to Islam.[8]
[1] Ar-Rum,21
[2] “We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure.” Al-Baqarah,155
[3] “Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way.”Al-Isra,32
[4] “While looking at the Kaaba, the Prophet Muhammad (saas) said: “Indeed, Allah has made you very honorable, very honorable/respectful, very lofty; but the believer is more respectful/more respected than you.” Ibn-Majah, Fiten,2
[5] Abu-Dawud, General Behavior (Kitab Al-Adab),116
[6] Al-Baqarah,165
[7] At-Tirmidhi, The calls (Dawat), 89
[8] Kanz Al- Ummal, No:6999-7000